Here we were! The girlfriend and I were ready to board our fight to the exotic lands of South America and we couldn’t hold back our excitement any longer!
As soon as we got to the airport, the duty free shops seemed to swallow Ms Pai altogether. Given that we had over 2 hours to catch the flight post check in, I did what most men do to pass time efficiently – if we men can even do that.
I decided to grab a burger, some beer and a good vantage point in the food court from where I could play voyeur to the many parting stories unravelling in front of ne – except it didn’t pan out in the manner I had hoped.
As I lined up at Oporto’s to devour yet another Bondi Chilli Triple Fillet, I had a fairly sharp tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see a very miffed almost midget like looking lady stare at me and shout out loud, “Will you STOP moving your swinging yourself as your backpack is whacking me in the face!”. I duly apologised expecting the issue to have been put to rest there.

How wrong I was. The lady continued her rant on how I was a public nuisance and how people my age should learn to conduct themselves in public. I turned around and smiled back at her only saying, “Very Nice”. She then proceeded to counter me with a term I had barely heard of before and threw me off balance. She retorted, “You know what – you are a reverse racist”. Now, not only did she hit me with a term that didnt make any sense to me, but she decided to share her new found term with the general public around her much to their amusement. Noticing how confounded I was, she proceeded to explain with fervour what it meant – it was apparently the ‘new’ wave of non-white youths rebelling by having a go at the caucasians. Or something along those lines.

Little did I know that there was further drama to follow once I boarded Argentina’s national carrier- the infamous Aerolineas Argentina. Now without indulging in ‘reverse racism’, I want to point out that the flight attendants onboard looked like extras from ‘El Mariachi’. Once we made our way through the aisles of the boeing 747-400 cattle class, that looked like it had been brought back from retirement, we made ourselves comfortable in those little excuses of seats. Being a 14 hour flight, I decided to indulge in what I do best – be social with those around. In the midst of some cheery talk with the australian-uruguayan lady and the kiwi girl in the seat ahead, I suddenly felt the sensation that I had felt earlier in the day – that tap on the shoulder. It was one of the flight attendants who with fire in her eyes, yelped under her breath, “Can you please talk slowly?”. After intense deliberation, I replied, “Sorry? What?”. The look I got in return was one I was familiar with from a certain pint sized lady earlier i the day. Without further ado, I leant back in my seat and shut my eyes in anticipation of what lay ahead.

The Facts

– Sydney to Buenos Aires on Aerolineas cost $1600 return. + cheap. – old aircraft
– LAN Chile and Qantas fly to Chile and cost $2100. + relative luxury in cattle class. – wallet shattering.